I don’t normally mess around with Tales from Mothers Ruin too much. The typo’s and errors of grammar that I sometimes discover days after hitting the ‘publish now’ button will attest to that. But today I have written, or at least half written, three separate blog posts.
Indecision is, quite clearly, to be the main ingredient in the Mothers Ruin recipe today. The joke is that I am only here, blogging, in the first place because I have been similarly indecisive in every other area of my life.
I woke feeling, I admit, slightly bereft. Having finally got Nathan back after 10 days apart (I survived, obviously, completely intact and only resorted to eating cornflakes for dinner in the final few days!) we enjoyed a four day break together in the company of a dear friend who travelled up from London to stay with us. If nothing else it really brought home to me that the simple things in life are the things that matter most. It is so easy to be swept up in the muddle of mortgages, promotions, IVF treatments, marriages, engagements, graduations, goal after goal after goal after goal…. In our final moments on earth, do you imagine that we’ll look back and wish we’d worked harder to win that elusive promotion, or taken more of the opportunities on offer to share a good meal with friends and laugh long into the night?
In an effort to re-kindle my love of the simple things, I decided to head out into nature with the dogs, forget that fact that I’d suddenly found myself alone again and try to remember what it was we were trying to create by moving here in the first place…. (Sounds convincing, doesn’t it? Almost decisive one might say….) WRONG!!! After dithering about with map books, Google Earth, the SatNav etc whilst trying to decide upon the best new place to go out and explore I managed to wind the dogs up to fever pitch by putting the leads on to go several times, changing my mind about the destination because of the distance or the unpredictability of the weather or if my footwear was appropriate, and then taking the leads back off again…. After a hopeless 55 minutes being unable to reach a decision (seriously, MR, it’s just a bloody walk!) I finally ended up stopping the car at exactly the same place that I always take the dogs!
Returning home again I thought it would be pleasant to forego the usual several hours of cleaning that have become the focus of my daily routine in favour of some sewing time. I’m starting to think I should have picked up a duster instead….
I’ve been playing about with leftover fabric scraps recently and used them to make this patchwork block…
So did I want to continue with this project and turn it into a full quilt?
“Oh, I’m not sure really. Using all those tiny pieces of fabric is quite time-consuming and fiddly and the overall effect is a bit too bright for me – perhaps I won’t make a quilt”
Well, how about turning it into something else?
“I suppose I could turn it into something else….. but is it suitable for a cushion? and I’ve made tonnes of cushions recently so that doesn’t reall excite me…. Something else? A bag! No, no, I don’t think it’s big enough for a bag… What then? I can’t fold it or cut it, because the graphic nature of the block would be lost….”
Suffice to say I couldn’t make a decision on how (and if I wanted) to proceed with this project and so after a lengthy interlude of picking it up, turning it over and putting it back down again I eventually turned my attention from it completely.
Perhaps, then, I ought to sew a garment? Something totally new, fresh and more importantly all for ME!
One of these Burda patterns that I picked up in the sale some time ago?
“Mmmmm-hmmm, well yes I could sew one of these but do I really need another shirt? Is there any point in sewing a new top when I really ought to be going through the wardrobe to throw out some old things to make space for it? And those jeans? What was I thinking? I can’t wear drop-crotch trousers! Why did I buy that pattern? I wonder how much I paid for it? How wasteful….”
Sigh. One of your vintage patterns then? Something quite different?
“Yeah, yeah – I see where you’re going with this. Vintage pattern! Nice! And it’d make a great blog post! Mind you, that one on the right there is for knit fabric and I don’t have any in my stash… Perhaps I should buy some?! No no – sew something from what I have already….Well, the Vogue one is no good – I don’t work in an office any more so I don’t need to make myself ties and things…. Maybe I will go for a shirt after all then? Not that one, it’s too small and I can’t be bothered to re-draft the whole thing…”
This one then! There you go! Good choice! Very different!
“mmmmmm – I’m not sure now…. Won’t I look like a fat Michael Jackson?”
How about a Waitcoat then? You ALWAYS like a waistcoat!
“I do! I do! I always think everybody looks so smart in a waistcoat! and I’ve got those 3 metres of thick brown wool that I picked up in a charity shop last year……………………….
Will I wear a waistcoat in Aberdeenshire? I’ve not had one on in the whole time we’ve lived here….”
And THAT is pretty much how my whole day has continued! Hour upon hour have passed me by while I, immersed in fabric and pattern envelopes, have found myself unable to reach a decision. To say I am frustrated with myself would be a great understatement.
Making one last ditch attempt to salvage my day I turned to my blog. If I couldn’t create something then at least I could write something! But what? Should I tell you, my dearest readers, about cocktails at The Carmelite in honour of my friend staying with us? Or about the antique hall stand I almost bought from Magpie? Should I describe Sunday lunch at the hotel? Update you on our search for a new home? Show you the photographs that Nathan took in Denmark? After several hours, multiple false starts and several revisions I have been left with this – a shortened version of the internal dialogue that has plagued me since 6am! You think you’re bored of it?! You should try being in here! *taps head*
It’s half-past five, I’ve achieved nothing all day and the indecision that seems to have woven itself through every fibre of my being leaves me almost frightened to acknowledge that little question that is starting to form in the back of my mind….
“I wonder what we should have for dinner……?”